I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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