so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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