I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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