The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Randomize
