you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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