guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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