16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Randomize
