Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
