So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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