its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Randomize
