Say something about gay babies.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I love having hate sex.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
