If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
