Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
