Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
