I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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