I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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