Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
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