The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
