woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
