Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
