your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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