she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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