So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Let's paint friendship bongs
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
