so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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