I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
