I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Gay?
German.
Pity.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize
