i don't plan on having that self control this summer
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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