He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
