I hate all girls vehemently.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
