Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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