i don't like sucking hair
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
