And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
