I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
