I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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