Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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