Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
