I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
