i think my mom watched the whole time
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
