There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
The air taste purple.
Randomize
