he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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