If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
