We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
