Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
