you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Randomize
