he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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