Small penises have feelings too.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
