So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
