Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
