ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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