sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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